Back to Chapter Eighteen - Bass Strait "The Roaring 40s"

Chapter Nineteen Thailand and The Golden Triangle

On to Chapter Twenty - KL, Goa and Bali

Singapore Airlines had become our international carrier of choice by 2002. Sometime in May of that year we flew into Bangkok, Thailand. After a midnight arrival we were taken by taxi at 120kph to the Montien Riverside Hotel.

Still tired but ready for adventure, next morning we looked out our fifteenth story window at the Chao Praya River winding through the city. The area surrounding Bangkok is a series of flat plains and river deltas. Bangkok lies about two metres above sea level. It is sometimes called the ‘Venice of the east’ due to the number of canals and passages that criss-cross the swamp it is built on. It is also the hottest city on Earth. Despite or because of all this, Bangkok is the world’s third most popular tourist city, and we were going to do our bit to uphold this reputation.

The Montien Riverside must have an excellent reputation amongst generously proportioned western visitors. Our room had the hugest bed we had ever seen. No complaints about not being able to fit here.

It did take a while to figure out the electronics of the room though. The controls for everything were on a console beside the bed, including all the light switches. There were also controls for “Do Not Disturb”, “Make up my Room”, “TV On and Off”, “Music On and Off”, “Volume Up and Down”, and the air-conditioner. We have never found one of these control units anywhere that has a switch for “Ironing”.

Before we started our tour of northern Thailand we visited the Royal Grand Palace. A mini-bus collected us from our hotel. The door was opened for us by the hotel doorman, who was dressed in one of those amazingly colourful uniforms that one hardly ever sees except when worn by hotel doorman in exotic locations, or people marching in street parades.

The present king is revered by almost everyone. The Grand Palace was his predecessors’ official residence from the 18th century to the mid 20th century. Within the walls are government offices and the Chapel Royal of the Emerald Buddha as well as the royal residences. This was one of the best guided tours we have ever taken. A guide is essential to understand what everything is. Without one, visitors can just marvel at the magnificent architecture of golden clad temples and pagodas.

Bangkok has another reputation. The worst traffic congestion in the world. While mini-busing back to the hotel during one of those typical tropical downpours, we watched in awe as a taxi did a U-turn in almost gridlocked traffic. Like in other congested Asian cities, other drivers let him do his U-turn without blasting horns or verbal abuse. Drivers are much more patient and tolerant than in Australia.

Next day we were off on our week long temple tour of northern Thailand. Sometimes you can be just plain lucky. We now had an extremely fortuitous stroke of luck. The tour before us, and the tour after us, both had enough tourist numbers to warrant a bus. This week there was just Eileen and I.

We were in a late model Mercedes Benz sedan, with our own driver, Wit, and our own tour guide, Pam. Our first stop was the ruins of Ayutthaya, about 80 kilometres north of Bangkok. This ancient city was the capital of Siam from 1350 until its destruction in 1767. Still remaining are a large reclining Buddha, groups of crumbling ruins including those of the former Royal Palace, and rows of headless Buddhas, the result of an extreme act of vandalism by Burmese invaders. Some cactus shaped obelisks denote Khmer influence, and look something like the famous towers of Angkor Wat.

 
 And that one day was the end of our week long temple tour. Because Eileen and I were the only customers on this tour, we asked Pam to show us places where the normal tours don’t go. We meant no disrespect, but we have visited several SE Asian countries, and you can only get excited about so many ruins.

Our next stop was at Lop Buri - Monkey Town. Monkeys rule! They have their own designated park, complete with temple and a swimming pool, but there are no fences to keep them in so they wander the town as they please. Most of the buildings in the town centre have their glass windows and doors barred and meshed because of them. I would think the locals would prefer they weren’t there, but they do bring the tourists. School children follow tourists about. At first I was suspicious of the girl that tagged along near us. I even videoed her so I could show the police if she suddenly grabbed any of our stuff and took off. But no, Pam explained it was the children’s job to ward off any monkeys that became a nuisance to the tourists.   

We did stop at more temples along our way. At the first Eileen bought a lottery ticket. First prize was six million Baht – about Au$200,000 – so it was worth it. Then we had to go to the monks and give them money to bless the ticket. The money went towards building a hospital so that was worth it too. Then Pam prayed to the Buddha for Eileen, and Eileen prayed to the Buddha, and then they both prayed together, before they each stuck a small piece of gold leaf on a statue of the Buddha, and went to another temple and prayed some more. I think I now have a Buddhist Catholic wife.

At the next temple we went to see the speaking Buddha. This huge statue was sitting inside a room only just large enough to house it. It was called a ‘speaking’ Buddha because when the people were depressed the king would sneak inside and up behind the Buddha and talk to them, and the people would think it was the Buddha speaking.

No more temples for a while and our next stop was at a town that supported its economy by making pottery. Soon after we stopped at Pratubjai House. Depending on who you talk to, this is either the largest or second largest house made of teak in Thailand. The house is made of teak, the furniture of seats, tables, beds, and cupboards is made of teak, and most of the ornaments are made of teak. As well as being a beautiful looking timber, teak is especially coveted by wooden boat builders because it is durable and weather resistant; it repels insect and fungus attack, and is not harmed by acids or alkalis.

The Thai government banned the harvesting of teak trees in about 1988. Overlogging had severely reduced the teak forests. It takes at least 50 years of growing before a teak tree is large enough to provide millable timber. The only way teak can be bought or used is if there is a certificate to say the wood is reclaimed, or came from a sustainable forest. Penalties for non-compliance are severe.

We stopped and watched fishermen by a lake where they used nets that looked like upside down mesh umbrellas with a long handle on one side. Others were out with cast nets from their boats. We spent the night in a hotel in Chiang Rai. The following day we set off in the rain along a river in a long-tailed speedboat. This is basically a wooden canoe with a four cylinder motor connected to its propeller by a shaft up to four metres long. The story goes that this makes them easy to manoeuvre. I can’t see it.

We were going elephant riding at Baan Ruammit, a small town on the river bank. But first I had to get my photo taken with a python; a 55 kilogram python, complete with its chicken lunch inside it, around my neck. It was twice as long as I am tall and draped around me one and a half times. Then we fed bananas to the elephants. I guess this was a bribe to get them to carry us. Mind you an elephant needs to eat about 200 kilograms a day.

Our elephant took us through the village. If you think I should have written “Our guide took us through the village” think again. As well trained as they may be an elephant weighs about 5000 kilograms. If it wants to stop to eat, or go to where the bamboo shoots are greener, it does. At one point, along a narrow path just on the outskirts of the village, the mahout parked our elephant sideways across the track. Its trunk was conveniently close to the vegetation against the bottom of the low cliff, while its backside hung out over the rice field below. The mahout disappeared up over the bank. We did not know if we had been abandoned or if he had only gone to the ‘toilet’. I was hoping we did not say anything that in Thai elephant talk meant “Go backwards”. But our guide soon returned with a bunch of delicious lychees for us.

On the road again we headed for the hills. Pam chose a hilltribe village to visit where one of the men had unfortunately recently died. Many of the villagers were carrying buckets and plates of raw meat. Pam said there was a ceremony as part of the funeral. We thought the chopped up meat was the deceased person. No! It was a buffalo.

Then we got to look inside one of the houses. The house was built a metre above the ground from very roughly hewn local timber, with a woven floor and walls, and a thatched roof. There were two entries to this house. One for the men and one for the women. We went up the steps of the men’s entrance where we took our shoes off so as not to bring mud inside. There was a small deck area before walking in.

The house consisted of two rooms. We were now in the five metre by 4 metre room where the men sat around and smoked and talked and slept. There was no furniture and just a few blankets folded against a wall. Extending about three metres down the middle of the house was a woven partition. We stepped over to the other side of the partition and we were in a similar sized room where the women sat around and talked and cooked and slept. There was a small fireplace with various cooking pots in their room.

On the deck outside the women’s room were several five litre plastic bottles of water, and several buckets and basins for washing clothes and people. Then there were the steps down to the ground again. I don’t know if this house was a set-up for we tourists and they had better accommodation elsewhere, but the other houses didn’t look much different from the outside. And we saw no other tourists. They must get them though because just as we were walking away a lady in traditional dress attracted Eileen’s attention with some dolls she had for sale. The lady wanted another ten Baht because I still had the video camera rolling, and was now filming her in her traditional costume.

Back on the road north and we arrived at the Mekong River where it flows past Chiang Saen. Once again because there were only Eileen and I, Pam suggested we take another long-tailed speedboat to our hotel at the Golden Triangle. Later at a museum I was reading that the opium trade no longer exists, so can anyone tell me why this canoe had a turbo-charged, 16 valve, 1300cc Toyota motor with exhaust extractors, which I estimated had us cruising along at about fifty knots? We were flying!

After a few kilometres we pulled in to the bank on the other side of the Mekong at a fuel dock. Apparently fuel is cheaper in Laos than in Thailand. After a few more kilometres we pulled in again to the Laos side of the river. This time we were all going ashore. We gave a person in uniform some money and we were in Laos; shopping! We were at a market. Strange place for it, as it must have been many kilometres from any Laotian tourist town. I guess it existed for we visitors by river; illegal immigrants or not.

A few more kilometres and we came to a 90 degree bend in the Mekong River. All around the inner bend on our right was Laos. On our left was Thailand. Ahead was Myanmar (formerly Burma), and in the distance, the mountains of Yunnan, China. We were at the Golden Triangle.

There was a large modern building about one kilometre along the Myanmar section. We motored along to have a look. It was a new casino. Casinos are illegal in Thailand, but here just a walk across the border was every Thai gambler’s dream; or nightmare. We looked back to the south-east and noticed ominous rain clouds, and we could see imminently approaching rain. We were not afraid of getting wet ourselves, and Wit had most of our gear in the car. All except for my cameras. And this boat didn’t have a bimini. Something to do with wind resistance for whatever reason. Our driver/skipper/pilot spun the boat around and we screamed back to Baan Boran where we were to stay, just as the rain started. This was one of the great moments of our lives. Doing circles in the rain in a turbo-charged canoe in the middle of the Mekong River, at the Golden Triangle!

In the lush tropical jungle of Chiang Mai’s Maesa Valley, a big family of elephants lives side by side with their mahout caretakers. We were off elephant riding again. And it was raining again/still. Maesa Elephant Camp has been in operation for more than thirty years, and they specialize in breeding, training, healthcare, and sustainable tourism.

I think our elephant and mahout were both novices, following an older more experienced leader on the narrow, steep, and slippery path. Despite this we always felt safe; sort of. We could see the elephants in front of us feet slipping up to half a metre in the mud, but despite the fact that our elephant must have been doing the same, we didn’t notice it. At one stage each elephant stepped down a muddy, rocky embankment about three metres into the river. This was not a ride at the theme park, where despite the adrenaline rush, you know the thing is on rails or cables…..You had to be there.

Then we had the circus. Elephants are relatively intelligent creatures, and require physical exercise and mental stimulation like humans. I fail to see how anyone could say that these performances are cruel or demeaning. If a 5000 kilo elephant doesn’t want to do something, how do you make it?

Wat Prathat Doi Suthep is a Buddhist temple on the mountain above Chiang Mai. The spot to build the temple was chosen when Buddha relics were put on the back of an elephant, and where the elephant stopped is where the temple was built. The elephant did not reach the top of the mountain, so the temple was built about half way up. We made our way up to the temple in the elevator which has apparently since been shut down due to an accident. The mist at that height was nearly rain.

Our hotel for the night in Chiang Mai was the Royal Princess, where a real princess was staying. We were not allowed to enter until she and her entourage had left the building via the red carpet. This did not bother us as we were happy to wait for a glimpse of Thai royalty. She finally appeared in jeans and T-shirt and was whisked away in her limo. The night market was huge. Streets and footpaths full of people, goods for sale, and moths.

We flew back to Bangkok and then left for a tour to the Kwai River. We spent some time walking slowly on the manicured lawn among the headstones at the war cemetery. This is the resting place of thousands of service people who were forced to build the Kwai River Bridge and the infamous Burma Railway for the Japanese during WW11. There is also a museum built as a replica of the huts that the prisoners lived in. Another long-tailed speedboat ride took us to the actual bridge. There we were allowed to walk across it.

We then took a train ride along the railway and over the bridge again. For company we had several people from our tour, and several more local high school aged children, who were trying to engage me in conversation and ply me with some local hooch. Unfortunately the language barrier was too great for conversation, even when they found a doctor who they presumed would understand some English. The liquor was wild.

Yet another ride in a long-tailed speedboat and we were at our accommodation for two nights; the River Kwai Jungle Rafts. These looked a bit like a lot of hilltribe houses strung together, only they floated. The toilets emptied directly into the river. People were encouraged to don lifejackets, jump in the river from the upstream raft, and float down to a net at the downstream end. We passed on that, but had more elephant rides, explored caves, went to Thai dancing, relaxed in our hammocks on our river deck, and generally had a great time.

 From Bangkok again we took a bus ride to more long-tailed speedboats. This time we travelled along canals instead of a river. The drivers had to travel much slower here, especially on the corners where the long propeller shaft was used almost like a steering oar, because the canals were only about ten metres wide. The wash from boats in front caused a reflection of waves off the banks back to the following boat. It also must have forced the residents along the banks to keep up the maintenance on their waterfront property.

We eventually arrived at a floating market. We noticed on the bank above us several locals taking photographs of us. This always makes me nervous as I look around to see what possible mishap could be about to befall us that warrants filming. Nothing was obvious and nothing happened so we wandered about the market. It used to be a produce market for locals, but these days it seems to be catering mainly for tourists. There were more elephant rides available here, but for not much less money than we paid at the camps, all the ride consisted of was a quick trip around the carpark. As we made our way out to our bus, at our bus, a person was trying to sell us a ceramic bowl with a photograph of us set into the bottom of it, taken in the speedboat as we arrived at the market. Sheer marketing genius.

Since 1984 I have been doing some form of martial art; sometimes several different types at once. Thai Boxing is one of the most formidable fighting forms known. It uses fists, elbows, knees, shins, and feet. Rumour has it that many years ago a Chinese Kung Fu team came to compete against a team of Thai boxers. They were all knocked out in the first round. The Chinese went back to China to train harder. They came back and were thrashed again. One of the ‘secrets’ of Thai Boxing is that the fighters train to absorb pain from the blows of their opponent, and their elbow strikes are devastating. That may be why their careers are usually over by the age of 25. To make Thai Boxing an international sport, rules were introduced to minimise damage to competitors, but in the street there are no rules.

Thai Boxing in Thailand is as popular as cricket and football in Australia. We had seen tournaments in a few places during our holiday, but Lumpini Stadium in Bangkok is where the big boys play. This is where national and world title fights are held. I went along to watch one night from a front row seat. They are good! There were eight fights on the card with one national title fight. The final fight for the night was a western boxing fight; fists only. It was boring after the kickboxing. Most of the crowd were gone before the first round finished.

I thought I might need martial arts when Eileen and I went for a visit to Patpong district one night. This is a market area in the city that is very popular with tourists for no real reason. It has the same souvenirs, fake brands and cheap clothes as any tourist area in the city, but prices are way over the going rate, and the touts for the go-go bars are persistent and annoying. One of them finally persuaded us to go inside one of these clubs for a quick look; no charge. We did, and sat down at a table to watch the entertainment. Those girls can do amazing things with ping-pong balls, although Eileen said, “I could do that”. I’m a bloke so I’ve been to girly shows before. One of my favourite forms of entertainment is to watch the other patrons who are watching the show. Interesting!

Then one of the waiters asked us to buy some very expensive drinks. I said we didn’t want any, and he then became aggressive. He was yelling in my face saying everyone else was buying drinks. I thought more fools them and Eileen and I started to get up to leave. This immediately changed his attitude and he begrudgingly motioned us to stay. We then bought some reasonably priced drinks. I was reading later that this behaviour is common as a way of encouraging patrons to spend, but it doesn’t actually come to violence.

An interesting thing happened as we departed the Montien before flying to Phuket. I usually buy beer from a shop and replace those I take from hotel room fridges. This time I had not been quick enough and the staff had replaced one before I did. When we went to check out, they had charged me for the beer, but gave me mine back.

Our accommodation on Phuket was at the Club Andaman Beach Resort at Patong Beach. We had asked for a bungalow because usually we do not like to stay in huge apartment buildings. One of the apartment buildings consisted of timeshare units. We were shown a presentation to encourage us to buy one. This was one of the motivations behind So Simple Holiday Swaps. Why would we want to pay Au$25,000 for one week a year when we owned a holiday apartment on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast back in Australia? Why couldn’t we swap time in it with time in someone else’s holiday accommodation?

We relaxed, or explored the beach, the streets and the shops of Patong. The touts were so annoying that at one stage there were so many of them waiting for us as we walked out of the resort gate into the street, we turned around and stayed in our room. The most persistent were those for the tailors. They had brochures showing many fine clothes for men and women. We made some selections from several different shops’ brochures. This turned out to be a waste of time as we were told later that all the clothes were made at the same sweat shops in the back streets anyway. I ordered several pairs of smart casual drip dry shorts. I even gave them a pair to copy. Eileen ordered some business suits.

Nothing fitted properly. All of mine ended up being used as gardening shorts or when doing boat maintenance. Eileen’s ended up being thrown away.

I thought I might like to go for a sailboat ride. I found out that the Royal Meridien Phuket Yacht Club was a hotel and beach resort with some views of surf skis. We took a local bus (always fun) to Ao Chalong Yacht Club where I asked if there was a chance I could thumb a ride during their next race day. I was told, “Yes”, and that the next race day was in two days time. What a great day it was. The breeze was 10 to 15 knots, and the 50 footer I was crewing on handled that with ease. I now have more T-shirts for my collection and an Ao Chalong Yacht Club burgee.

Back to Chapter Eighteen - Bass Strait "The Roaring 40s"

Back to the Introduction

On to Chapter Twenty - KL, Goa and Bali